i’m trying this new idea where i spend less in front of a screen. i already don’t watch tv, so it really is only spending time on the computer. i think the internet is lovely, you know, because there is so much to learn in so many formats, varying from art to videos to writing to facebook messaging. but that’s the problem, we live in such a world based on information it’s as if there is so much information and not enough time to learn it all. it’s subconscious, the way we are addicted to the internet – to filing through tumblr, twitter, pinterest, facebook, our emails, etc. and i want to veer away from that. i’ve taken the initiative to unfollow a lot of people who reblog too much and if their writing doesn’t necessary strike home for me (not that their writing isn’t great, but i follow too many writers on here and need to cut down somewhere). i want to be more attune with real life, there is something else more peculiar about it. i haven’t had the time of day to just sit down and read a book anymore, because i am constantly reading poetry snippets or quotes from books on tumblr, or i’m reading articles on thought catalog. the list goes on – i’m looking at fashion and food on pinterest, and liking people’s photos and statuses on facebook.

i want more time for the gym, because that is starting to feel amazing. i want to be able to sit here and even just have the luxury of reading articles on a magazine instead of articles on the internet. i want to dive in books again (and it’s so so so awful to actually have to say this because i don’t read that much often anymore). i start books and don’t get halfway through them before i finish because i’ve moved onto the next book, i’ve moved onto the next thing. i think that’s the problem with people like me and most of how society works – there just isn’t enough time for everything, but we want everything, so we dab our toes in a little bit of everything, but in fact, we are truly missing out because we are unable to engage in one task for too long. we are constantly distracted with new things. i want to become more attentive, more conscious. i want to walk around used bookstores more, take walks around my neighborhood more, walk around grocery stores to be inspired by new items for new recipes simply because i want to cook something new. these, and thensome, are ALL factors in my life, but they happen so sporadically, so randomly. i want my life to be more constant, to have more meaning, to be present with more people. i want to stop being unmotivated and just get up and going with my life besides when i need to go to work and besides when i need to run errands and besides when i go out for the weekend. i want to do yoga, to salsa dance with my boyfriend, to meditate, to try something new new new, and stick with it. i want to be able to breathe, to take life slowly, without becoming lazy. i want balance. i want this all to be important.

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