i was watching him play league of legends as his health was depleting and the enemies were closing in on him. and in a second he says “don’t fear” and i look at the screen and he jumps into the enemies and survives the damage. i wish i could explain with precise detail what happened in the seconds that followed when he said, “don’t fear” but there is no way. you just had to see it for yourself the way he launched his character into a crowd not expecting whether to win or survive or die or damage the other, he didn’t anticipate any result, but to just do it for the sake of taking a risk. for living. / we are most alive when we recognize our fear and let it motivate us. / because he once told me, “the answer is always no if you don’t try” so that’s what i immediately thought. and i mumble to myself, “don’t fear, don’t fear” and i think that’s perfect. i think that’s a perfect metaphor for him. if we were part of a logo, he’d be “don’t fear” and i’d be “love more.” and i think those are so complementary. so complementary of what we stand for and of each other. i am still someone without him, but i am not the same without him. he complements me. he’s the other half of the whole. we are two wholes of another whole. the concept only expands. i’m always daydreaming about how our messages will be received in the world. i’m always daydreaming about who he’s going to be, because i know the world is looking forward to encountering someone like him.


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