a conversation with a friend about children

“I get really fired up about these situations because a lot of people don’t know how to deal with children, and children are actually very smart on a subconscious level, they can tell who’s being genuine. And just in general, we all have that radar, and we are better able to connect with people who we feel are actually very understanding instead of just being able to understand a concept. I babysit these two girls and they’re really good with me, interactive, curious, playful, but when they’re with their mom, they’re still like babies, they cry and whine and always want to be picked up and they’re really needy. And I realized it’s because the mom caves into emotions and she doesn’t know how to set boundaries. She’s a great mom too, and the reason she caves in is because she cares so much, but she also does it because she wants them to stop crying. Children pick up on your intentions. So in a sense her children gain dominance. It’s the same way with raising dogs. And it makes me sad that children, in a way, are smarter than adults. Because it just shows how stupid our society becomes with age. I mean, really, we’re so unaware of how we feel and everything we do is about reducing irritability instead of enhancing happiness. Children are a reflection of how well you can handle conflict in yourself and how genuine you are to yourself. They naturally gravitate towards people who are true to themselves. And contrary to popular belief, children aren’t smart enough to manipulate. They don’t know that kind of world yet. One day I was hungover at work with the girls and everything was horrible, and I realized it’s because I felt horrible and they picked up on my energy. This may seem like some bogus spirituality shit, but because children know less “information”, they are actually able to tune in more to the world. They’re sensitive human beings. We all are! But we become preoccupied with everything else in daily life. Maybe when a mom comes home from a long day at work, a child mirrors that by becoming that lethargy because a child does not quite understand emotion regulation yet and looks to her for cues on how to manage such an emotion. Children are always wanting to learn, and part of learning means understanding how to take action when you feel a certain way. Because children don’t really have a clear grasp on self-identity, they don’t really truly understand the idea that we can be separate, detached from our environment and the people in it. Children often become the vibe of the environment and the emotions of the people. That’s called empathy. Children are very insightful mirrors. Children may be able to teach you more than anything else, because it’s really like looking into your own soul when they look at you.”

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