: unfasten your seatbelt and run red lights.

: unfasten your seatbelt and run red lights. chase other drivers on the street. rev your engine. show them what you’re made of. let them test you. show them how you win. 

: walk from your friend’s house to downtown just to find some semblance of liveliness along the way, if you can, knowing that you won’t. but it’s the hope that carries you forward, not the outcome. three miles may not show you happiness but it sure as hell will tell you how much sorrow you can handle in front of others, how much laughter you can muster to mask that very sorrow.

: when you watch your friend unzipper that backpack and pull out a fifth of alcohol, you do not hesitate what the next step will be. drink it. this will be your first time, but don’t worry, drinking alcohol the first time is always the easiest. they may not tell you, but i will. so drink up. chug it. go back to the dance and make sure you pass that breath test.

: let that energy infiltrate your veins as it masks every open wound you’ve carried since you were young. this elation only lasts temporarily, of course, no one will let you know that this simplicity is only a short vacation from your mind, so i’ll let you know ahead of time. you can talk to your ex-boyfriend. yes, that’s fine. but you do not tell him you miss him. you do not tell him you loved him. that you still may. do you hear me? woo him with the poetic melody of your voice – a hello, a how have you been, but just that.

: when you feel the alcohol really kick in, you go dance with that boy who you’ve been eyeing for weeks. let your heart run wild. but don’t you, under any circumstances, run back to your ex-boyfriend. it’s not he who thinks you are undeserving of him. it’s you who thinks you are deserving of pain. you’ve romanticized heartbreak for too long. you are made of gold. not rust.


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