instruction’s manual

You cannot look for love to fill the whole in your heart,
you will habituate.
You cannot ask people to love you more, to love you better,
they exist to love you the best that they can, and even if
they were to be compliant to your request,
you will habituate.
Temporary love is not love.
It’s a relief from loneliness.
You must love yourself. You must love the angels that want
to dance with you. You must love the demons that piggyback with you.
When you don’t want to smile, you must smile, not to force
happiness, but to remind yourself why you missed that freedom.
But you must look for love, because love matters, because you
matter. You must not stand alone because of your prideful
independence, you must not stand alone because you are
afraid to reach for a hand. You must not stand alone because
you don’t want to be a burden to others. If you stand alone, it is because the
self-love you feel is on the brink of bursting every blood vessel of yours,
and you
are frozen from such shocking acceptance of oneself.
You must look within, you must turn these emotions inward.
Finding motivation, passion, drive in the outer world can only sustain you for so long
if it does not also match what you feel internally.
Your outer world must be in sync with your inner world.
You must find a way so that this is so.
You must heal the parts of you that chain you to the ground.
If you don’t know what they are, this is a perfect opportunity
to try and figure it out.
You don’t have better things to do. In fact, you have nothing to do at all.
You must recognize that the damaged parts of you are supposed to set you free.
You must love yourself.
You must recognize that you are deserving of love, that love
matters, that
this is not a frivolous far-away tale spoken from the heart of a romantic,
you must recognize that these words matter, because you
matter. I tell you again, in case it’s already slipped your mind,
you must love yourself.
Or you will go mad trying to understand the basic necessities that you lack.
Or you will go mad.

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