sometimes i just sit here at my computer until inspiration comes to me
do any of you do this. sometimes it’s almost pathetic how much time i spend lurking on the internet but really it’s just that i’m waiting for inspiration to bloom. i stare at the same internet page waiting for some god to bestow me with a good thought that i want to take shape. sometimes i get up from this couch and pace around my studio, grab another cup of tea, maybe put away a few clothes, and plop back down, hoping that this inspiration will just manifest itself within me. i can’t stand writer’s block. other times my mind is pressed on fast forward. i could sit in front of this computer all day if it meant i would be guaranteed a payroll but i wasn’t a literature nor creative writing major and i have no idea what it means to be a good writer. i don’t even know the basic rules, there must be something i can read about this, but dear, i am afraid of criticism. my writing follows no logical order, its as sloppy as barbecue-stained fingers and as messy as a hairdo exposed to whirling wind. i don’t even know how to write stories. novels require a certain level of dedication that my patience doesn’t have. my temptation leads me to new thoughts. james frey says, “either you can write or you can’t.” where does this money ordeal come into play?