i keep a roll of toilet paper at my coffee table, because it saves
me the trouble of having to walk to the bathroom. i’ve begun to study
the way my tears fall, the way they curve around my cheek
like a hurdle, then suddenly drop to the bottom, and chase
to the chin where the two tears will meet, is that how we are?
two lost souls that find each other? there is a subtle sorrow in you,
and i always run down these sidewalks to look for a sign that
you are alive, still alive and well, you’ve become a needle
in the haystack but i keep searching, because i know you
are somewhere. i keep telling myself that we are each other,
that there is no difference between you and me. today somebody
rejected my idea and i became sad, and i thought of how
you seek recognition the way i do, you are always
avoiding rejection and seeking acceptance the exactly
the way that i am, you see if people are listening
if people care. they aren’t, they don’t, you can tell
by the way they are waiting for you to finish your sentence.
maybe that’s why we belong together. you look at people
the same why i look at people, the same way a baby looks
at his mother for a sign of security, for a sign of compassion.
it’s the way a child bumps his head and he looks at his mother,
and receives the surge of love that leads to emotional healing.
maybe we’re just two children who want that love that we never
received the way we wanted as a child, maybe that’s why we’re
childish, maybe that’s why people find us to be personable,
because we couldn’t bare for someone to feel the
way we do. maybe that’s why we are always looking ahead, looking
upward, maybe that’s why we are meant to be together. maybe
it’s because it’s the childhood fairytale we both wished for. maybe
we were the love we were looking for. i think i’ve looked for you
since i was young. i think my heart knew of you before we met.
how would you feel if you discovered
your imaginary friend is actually real?