When I have the…

When I have the rare opportunity to feel like writing, I have to look up words to describe how I am feeling. To express what I want to say with the intensity and feeling that I feel. Surely this is the same for you? You seem very adept at writing possibly because you read a lot. I unfortunately do not read as often as I would like to because reading is quite slow for me, but I need to get back into it.

I will say this, that “middle ground” you speak of… I will not say it does not exist, but I have not figured out how to get there. And yet… as much as I want to be there, I don’t! It just ties in with your beautiful bio/blog description about wanting to be everything. I want it but I don’t want it because who wants to be like everyone else? Normal. We have a special talent although it has it’s drawbacks. We love a little stronger, cry a lot more, when we’re angry we’re furious, when we’re in love we’re head over heels, passionate, and all these other things! And loyal to the few that we choose. Extremely understanding. The reason why I hate it at times is because I feel alone, I am unique, you are unique. But when I find someone similar to myself, I feel better because I have this hope that maybe they can relate on the same level I am on. The same hurt, the same hopes, all those things. I may not know a way to this middle ground, but I sure as hell know how to cycle through the happy and sad points in this crazy life of mine. Sometimes I don’t quite know how to cycle though, but whatever. These mood swings are just as some poet said, “like the weather.” And God damnit I love the weather. I love the rain, the gray days, the sunny days. All of it. I want it all damnit! And screw anyone who is going to stop me from living it up while I’m still standing.

I know you get this a lot, but I want to say thanks. Thank you for allowing me to feel and to write when I’ve gone two weeks without feeling any desire to write because I have no will to. I don’t know how you do it, but I have to applaud you for doing so.

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