nostalgia part 1 –

: Life is a mirage. Music soothes my soul. Laughter is freedom. Books are therapy. Hugs are my safety zone.

: I am reborn and reinvented again. I abide in this world in new ways because of you. I imagine what the world holds, and I aspire to be people I’ve never met. There are so many opportunities, each and every single day. I wonder how many pass right by me. I wonder why I’m so scared.

: My mind wanders too much.

: The ordinary and mundane bores me. The unknown is the beauty in the world… and the answer to everything.

: I truly believe that beauty is everywhere, within the cracks of the wall to the painting displayed in the gallery. I believe beauty can be found in every thing, every person, and every place –  beauty can be flaunted in various styles.

: The walls around me feel so empty. I feel so empty without this room.

: I love you, despite anything.

: Music reminds me of the wind.

: I wonder what love feels like. I wonder if what I see on the streets is true, but what I see on the streets seem so… so…habituated. I imagine love to happen in an instant. I don’t think it’s like a hobby, or a job, or anything like that. I don’t think it’s like how you try out an activity and then decide if you like it. I don’t think it’s like how you go through orientation and wonder if this job suits you. I think love is shocking. I don’t think there is a perfect place or a perfect time for love. I think It just happens. I think your heart stops beating for a second when you fall in love, and then you spend the rest of your life figuring out why that happened. I think love is supposed to set you free. But then I see everybody here on the streets, and they seem so confined. They seem so stable, but not the good kind. I don’t think love is about commitment, or at least how society defines commitment. I think love is about forever. Do you believe in forever? I think love makes life worth living. Is that silly of me to believe so? I think all the love I see on the streets is comfort. Do you believe in romance? I can’t be the only person who believes in romance, right? I think if I were to ever fall in love, I would never want a ring on my finger. It’s like those parents who have those bumper stickers that say, “My student is an honor student.”  I think love is beyond objects, actions, and words. I think love, for me, is wanting to spend my whole day with them. I like to be alone, and I always think about the next time I’ll get to go home. It’s all about escaping reality. I think love is about sharing reality together. I think love is like Allie and Noah. I think love is like Clark and Lois. I think love is more than looking into each other’s eyes. I think love is about looking forward in the same direction together. I think love is a metaphor. I think love is about smiles. I think everybody mistakes intentions of looking romantic for actually being romantic. Does writing about love and being in love with the idea of love make me a hopeless romantic? Does feeling like a hopeless romantic ever turn into a real life romance comedy? I think that’s what love is. Love is funny because it never makes sense. Love is lighthearted. Love is tickles. I think love is like a playground. You spend your whole life going down the slide by yourself, and then somebody comes along and you guys go on swings together and he tells you that you can jump off without being scared of falling. I think that’s what love is like. I think love is the closest to flying. I think love will be the 20/20 vision I never had.

: If you never know what to wear, a genuine smile is a good outfit :)

: I loved you yesterday. I still love you today. I will love you tomorrow. I always love you.

: You’re the colour that I’ve been imagining my whole life. You illuminate my mornings. Please don’t let me go.

: Please make the effort to realize how exquisite you are. I will walk to the end of the Earth if it means you’ll accept yourself. You’re more important than you’ll ever know.

: This is exactly why we’re still standing next to each other today. I’ll never leave you under any circumstances. I love you.

: I’m not broken. I will never be fully broken. I can admit though I am a little dented, a little damaged. But isn’t everybody a little damaged, a little hurt, a little misunderstood? You have to scrape your knees once in a while. But then you get back up whether or not those wounds heal. They will eventually, right?

: When I think of high school, memories overflow my mind. They sneak behind me, as if I’ve forgotten them. They’re in the corner hiding, as if I’m trying to repress them. They startle me, to remind me where I stand today. They hover right above me, because it makes me who I am. They’re all unique. I can sense all the feelings soar right through me – the love, the laughter, the tears, the hardships, the true happiness I see ever so once in a while. And then I come to the conclusion that … I don’t have a favourite memory. There is not one that sticks out from the rest, because I have loved and learned from every experience that has been thrown at me, and for that, I am grateful.

(august 2009)


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