Today I didn’t go to work because I didn’t feel like it. Irresponsible? I guess so. Working nonstop has absorbed all my energy, and by nonstop I mean I have worked everyday for the past 2 weeks, and if I didn’t call in today, I would only have one day off, which is tomorrow (Saturday) because I am still working 7 hours on Sunday. Granted, last Sunday I only worked 3 hours, but there is something about not having a whole day to yourself or even just a blank day with no plans yet (especially when you’re an introvert like me) that takes away the uniqueness of the day. All my weekends are dedicated to the people that I love. And then I spend Sunday recovering from all the socializing. All my nights after work are dedicated to breathing and taking a step back. I never have the energy to jump around, to be so intrinsically motivated to create everything that flows through my mind. When I come home from work I am too drained to be motivated to do anything. I look at my writing as of late and it’s just words. I can’t feel the passion, the drive. Today I have a whole day to myself until 6pm before I head off to a packed weekend in Santa Cruz. My day in my studio will begin with scrambled eggs and maple oatmeal with peaches and blueberries! and then the itinerary for Santa Cruz: first off will be a dance performance with one of my best guy friends, then a night filled with my soul sister and some others, a lunch with some of my favorite girls the next day, and then an afternoon hopefully spent at Mystery Spot! Then I will finish the afternoon off with some thrifting at Salvation Army and Crossroads Trading Co. before I head back home :)

I’ve missed so much having a day off. I never want to grow up. Remember what I posted a few days ago? I’ve requested for fewer hours. I will now only be working 33 hours a week, WHICH, I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW, IS AN AWESOME FEELING. CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW MANY BOOKS I WILL BE ABLE TO READ NOW? CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW MUCH ART I WILL BE ABLE TO CREATE? CAN YOU IMAGINE? CAN YOU? CAN YOU JUST *FEEL* ALL THE LUCIE-NESS COMING BACK TO LIFE? Yes.

Fuck the work life. No. You are not going to dominate my life. I won’t let you. Once you live a life of freedom, you never want to go back to anything else. I want to be creative again, thanks. Let’s go back to what life was like in December.

I spoil myself and I don’t give a fuck. I only want the best and I will never settle for the second best. My life is in a constant motion of being amplified.

Creativity, I’m coming after you :)


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